145 - From Physician Burnout to Back On Mission: The One Question That Changed Everything After My Divorce [REPLAY]

Feeling like you're juggling your medical practice, parenting, and personal healing all at once—and dropping the ball on all of it?

In this replay episode, I’m taking you back to one of the most pivotal conversations in my journey—my interview with Coach Jay Puppo, the sherpa who helped me find clarity, purpose, and peace after my divorce. As a practicing physician, father, and husband rebuilding his life, I realize now that I was burned out and overwhelmed. One question from my coach shifted everything.

• Hear how one powerful question helped me stop reacting—and start leading with focus again.
• Learn how gratitude, clarity, and commitment reshaped how I show up for my patients, my kids, and myself.
• Understand why coaching isn’t a luxury—it’s a lifeline for independent physicians ready to take their next chapter seriously.

Press play now to hear the replay of the conversation that helped me reclaim control—and start leading again with purpose after near complete burnout and divorce.

Discover how medical graduates, junior doctors, and young physicians can navigate residency training programs, surgical residency, and locum tenens to increase income, enjoy independent practice, decrease stress, achieve financial freedom, and retire early, while maintaining patient satisfaction and exploring physician side gigs to tackle medical school loans.

Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00.066)
Are you feeling like you're juggling your medical practice, parenting and personal healing all at once? And sometimes even dropping the ball on all of it. Welcome back to another episode where I help younger physicians decrease stress and increase income by transitioning from corporate to independent practices, even without any business experience. Well, I decided to release this replay episode from the formerly called

practice impossible podcast, but now the Independent Physician's Blueprint, just to have you hear a powerful question that helped me stop reacting and started to lead with focus. I also want to share what I learned about gratitude and help you understand why coaching isn't a luxury. It's a lifeline for independent physicians ready to take their next chapter seriously. So listen into this replay episode recorded a couple of years ago, but I thought it was still relevant today.

In our first episode, the trailer episode, I mentioned the word Sherpa and I'm not sure if I ever defined what a Sherpa was and or is. And it's also called Sharwa. And a Sherpa is an ethnic Tibetan group that resides in the eastern region of Nepal. And Sherpas are considered elite mountain climbers and they're known to help those that are looking to climb Mount Everest to help them and guide them in the Himalayas. And because of their genetic adaptation,

They're able to climb with less effort than most of the population and they're elite guides. And for me in my process, I needed an elite guide. I needed a Sherpa myself. And that's why today we're going to interview Coach Jay Puppo, who is my Sherpa, my guide in this world that I'm navigating in. And it's an honor to have him on the Practice Impossible podcast.

And just to give you a little background on who Jay is, Jay is a licensed insurance agent in Oregon and he's got 32 years of business experience and he's been a coach, professional business coach for over six years, earned his bachelor's degree in international business at Willamette University. And I can't say enough about what Jay has done for me and he helped me understand what

Speaker 1 (02:21.954)
The one thing is that I could do to help myself and my population of patients and as well as physicians that I'm trying to help in this journey. He's a certified one thing trainer and I just can't wait to share this conversation with you. So here we go. And so today we're here with Coach Jay Puppo on the Practice Impossible podcast. And I'm going to let Jay tell us a little bit about what he does.

and how he's helped me as my coach, Jake.

Yeah, thanks for having me today. It's great to be here. So I have a 30 year career in financial services, last 21 years as a state farm agent and really never planned to become a coach. But yet one of the things I experienced through my insurance career was that frequently young agents would call me and ask for advice. Often Sunday afternoons were full of just, you know, taking calls from fellow agents and answering questions and sort of coaching them along the way.

And then I accidentally became a coach when a close friend reached out to me and decided he wanted to change the world and asked me if I'd help him do it, ask him if I would meet with him weekly and hold him accountable. And he's on that journey right now. And that was the first of introduction into the coaching world.

So, you had not trained to be a coach. So, you were running a state farm agency?

Speaker 2 (03:55.182)
That's exactly right. I was running a very successful state farm agency here in Wilsonville, Oregon. I had no formal coaching training at the beginning. I since have gone back and gotten some training and received some of my certifications to do this. Yet in the beginning it was just happened. People just called.

So what did your family say? mean, they knew that you were running a state farm agency and now Jay is coaching. What are you coaching? Why would you do that?

Yeah, it's actually interesting. My family sort of when I told them what I was doing, they said, well, of course you are. You always do that. You've done that since we've known you. So just kind of naturally, I think part of my DNA.

So that's interesting because I didn't know that part of you and your journey because I got introduced to you after I've gone through some trials and tribulations. I, you through my processes, as you know, had counselors, I had coaches that helped me with relationships, especially surrounding my divorce. I did seminars and financial coaches because I had some major financial issues as well. And then you came as the next level.

in my journey and I got to introduce you by Zach actually and he was, we recorded him and he has an episode, episode 006 I think, talks about spirituality and longevity. And so he told me that you were a coach that only took a couple clients a year. So I was trying to figure out why did you choose me? Why did you take on me as a client?

Speaker 2 (05:35.81)
Yeah, so Jude, my coaching practice is really not about sort of having another business or making a lot of extra money. We're doing just fine in our other businesses. But really for me, the coaching opportunity is really about it's my way to change the world, to make the world better. So I'm looking for people like you who have a mission, who have a calling, who

know that you can do so much more than you're doing now and who literally will change the world for the better. So we just take on a few clients a year and we help them compress their work life and think about time differently so that they're able to commit their time, commit their resources to take the actions that will help them change the world, just like you've been doing.

Yeah, I appreciate that. you know, I appreciate you because I know how busy you are, especially in your State Farm Agency. I think you're number one, number two State Farm Agency in all of Oregon or is it just a city?

Well, the numbers go up and down, go cross ways and there's lots of ways to talk about the number, but we've had a good run.

I think you're being modest, but I want to leave it at that. But one of the things that I remember one of my docs saying is recently is like, Jude, you're doing all this stuff. Aren't you stressed? And you've got COVID. We've got practice. We've got the family. We've got life going on. And I think one of the things you mentioned just now is time, time management. think one of the biggest problems that physicians have is time management. And so

Speaker 1 (07:18.134)
What are some of the things that you found were similar to me as a physician and other clients that you've dealt with or you've

Yeah, so successful physicians like yourself and physicians who really want to do more than just practice the art of medicine are very similar to other highly successful business owners. The commonalities are that they see so many opportunities and there's so many things that can be done that what ends up happening is it's almost like getting on a treadmill where you run and you run and you run and you sweat.

and you pour your heart and soul into moving forward, yet you're on a treadmill, so you actually never make any progress. And so what I've learned is whether you're a doctor, an executive with a corporation, I work with some folks in a very large credit union, whether you're a highly successful real estate agent, whatever your business might be, there's so many opportunities in our world, in our country. And for smart people who think big, there are unlimited opportunities.

And so, what really has to happen is an individual like you has to decide what they want first. And they have to prioritize exactly what they want. It's only by prioritizing that we can invest the time to make the actions to achieve the results you want to achieve. So, one of the first things we have to do is take a highly successful person and just sort of get them to calm down, get them to slow down.

Get them to put in writing exactly what it is that they want to achieve. What's the most important thing? And I think when we started working together, one of the questions I asked you is, if you only get to do one thing in this life, beyond raising your children and having a great family life, what's the one thing that you want to accomplish? And once we know the answer to that question, then we can start saying no to what I'll call busy work or other stuff, right?

Speaker 2 (09:23.168)
And it's that moment that you have started to say no, that the power really starts to arrive. That's when you can put your time and effort and energy into the things that matter the most.

Yeah, that's powerful because that has prompted me even when I'm interviewing new hires, I'm finding myself asking very specific questions about what they want to do when they grow up. And it's my kind of my line. And, you know, what is it that they're committed to? I spoke to someone recently and one of the questions I asked her was, what are you committed to? So if you find what you're committed to and you focus on that commitment, then anything that you do,

and everything that you are doing should be related to that commitment. And so that will guide you to say no to certain things. I had an opportunity recently where someone online, I think it was on LinkedIn, requested my services to consult for an hour for an undisclosed rate. So I started to fill out a form and the form took me more than five minutes. And I looked at myself, I'm like, what am I doing here? It's going to take me 15 minutes.

20 minutes to fill out a form to make a one-hour consultation through someone random online when I can be doing other things. So I think you're absolutely right. It kind of helped me kind of refocus my attention to what I'm committed to. And I think that that's just to help physicians.

just show up all day long. Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel. There's a great Russian proverb and I don't know that I'm going to be able to quote it exactly correctly. Yet it's something like, if you chase two rabbits, surely you will catch neither one.

Speaker 2 (11:05.844)
So you really have to identify the rabbit that you want to catch.

Speaker 1 (11:13.192)
Again, powerful. So what are the things that you've seen that are completely different amongst physician clients and your business clients?

Boy, with physicians, what I have experienced is that they have so much pressure to be perfect, an unrealistic pressure to be right, to be accurate, and to be perfect. And of course, we know that no human is perfect, right? Only one human's ever been perfect. And so this pressure mounts and builds, and it really causes, it really gets in the way.

with physicians what I see is oftentimes they'll feel so much pressure to do everything perfectly that they'll freeze and do nothing. And so one of the things that we teach in a coaching relationship like this is we want you to make mistakes. We want you to fail. We want you to get comfortable with just trying, just seeing what things and don't expect that you have to be able to do every single thing perfectly.

have some fun with it, play. You we only get to do this race one time. So when you get done with the race, you hang your shoes up. Let's make sure that we can look back and have some smiles and have some fun and have some great memories.

Yeah, and I think that also pushes the perfectionism that we are kind of taught or we learn in residency. It also bolsters the shame when we don't, when we're not perfect. And we're ashamed by the imperfections and either by our fellows or colleagues, patients sometimes. So that's something that's been popping up in our podcasts as well.

Speaker 2 (13:02.796)
Yeah. And if I could comment on that, Jude, I, yeah, boy, what I see, what I experience is that often that shame comes from within that, that often physicians judge themselves more than anybody else is judging them. They put more pressure on themselves to be perfect too. And that shame just mounts. Yeah. Yeah.

Shame is big.

Speaker 1 (13:30.062)
So is coaching for everyone? I think I know the answer to that. But would you say that there's a doctor out there that shouldn't get coached?

Well, let me just say this, coaching is a commitment. So if you're not ready to make a significant commitment of your time, your resources, your energy, coaching is not for you. There are coaches who will take your money and they'll play a game with you, but you're just wasting your time. But if you're at a point where you're serious to make progress, where you want to get to the next level, you know, there's sort of three ways that people grow, right?

Education there's lots of ways you can get educated your course for example helps physicians get educated. It's great great material There's lots of educational opportunities out there The second level is mentoring, you know Cozy up next to somebody who's been down the road who can sort of guide you along the path and be there for you and Probably the highest level is coaching and that's when you submit to accountability that's when

you agree to follow a direction and to put all of your efforts into doing the things that you need to do to get what you want. So if you're not ready for that level of commitment, don't waste your time and don't waste the coach's time. But if you are ready, if you're at a point where you're ready to make a change, in my experience, having a coach is the best acceleration you can have.

I agree with that. And so I think you've already described the ideal client, which was kind of my next question. Your ideal client is someone that's willing to learn and to level up. And so in that leveling up, how do you measure that person's success? How do you measure that they've done what they need to do to get to that next level?

Speaker 2 (15:21.518)
Well, I personally measure my success by my coaching client's success. So when you hit a milestone, I feel a level of success in your achievement. So my success is all based on your success.

So, I'm going to ask a, I don't know if it's a hard question. It's a hard question for me to ask, I guess, but what are the methods that you used on me to help transform me? I know that you sometimes do some jiu-jitsu and do things, I'm like, what is he doing? And then I'm like, a month later. Okay, so what did you do to me?

Jude, think, you when we first started working together, you had such an amazing level of passion, such an amazing level of energy that and I think you've shared on your show before that there's, you know, some also some baggage that sort of has come along the journey, right? And so we really had to clear the deck and we had to get your mind open and ready for action.

And so, you know, we really spent a lot of time together talking about gratitude. And I remember early on, and I think you're still doing this sometimes, but we introduced the notion of the red light exercise. So every time you're in your car, because it's so easy, because people in your situation, doctors are so busy, there are so many demands, and yet every doctor I've ever met drives a car.

And so when you're in your car, when you head a red light, that's your opportunity, that's universe saying to you, here you go, go for it. And so while that red light is there, you look around and you just see all the things you're grateful for. And that begins the mental reset. And so we can clear out a lot of the trash, so to speak, lot of the head trash, by getting people to understand what an amazing life we have and to remember. We've sort of all forgotten.

Speaker 2 (17:23.51)
We've been sidetracked. We talked about the squirrels, right? We've been sidetracked from how good this life is. And so we go to gratitude and so we just start lifting off all the things we're grateful for. I think the other really powerful tool that that I've observed you use very successfully are the I am affirmations. So just reminding yourself who you are by doing positive self-talk.

I am a good physician. I am caring for populations so that they will be healthy. I am a great team leader and developer of people. And so as you remind yourself who you are, and you know, a lot of docs that I come into contact with, man, medical school or whatever, there's a lot of ego involved. And yet the docs who make the most progress

are the ones who get a humble and remember who they are, who they really are. They go back to their essence and that's where the power comes in.

I forgot the book talks about rare leadership. I'll put the show notes, the book in the show notes, but one of the characteristics of a rare leadership is that they act like their best self. And so their best self is not throwing tools at nurses and yelling at staff. It's who they truly are as their best self. And that's what we are charged to do as rare leaders is to act like your best self. So it's really powerful. Do you have a coach?

Yes, I do. In fact, several coaches and I just recently brought in a new coach. I've decided to reshape my body and so I recently hired a running coach to help me run. you know, it's interesting, how many times have people listening to this podcast thought I'm going to get healthy or I'm going to go start that new business or I'm going to improve that relationship?

Speaker 2 (19:32.192)
And you have the thought, you have the idea and nothing ever comes about, comes of it. What I've experienced is when you get really serious about making a change, when you get really serious about going to the next level, the fastest, you know, if you want to climb the tallest mountain in the world, the first thing you do, hire a Sherpa, right? Hire somebody who knows how to get you down the road. Hire somebody who's going to make sure that you got your oxygen mask on, that you've got the right items in your backpack.

and that you walk up the correct path because there's lots of wrong paths. You want to make sure you're going down the right path. Yeah. So I have had the great privilege of working with a master coach, Les McGehee, who has coached thousands of people around the world and a couple other coaches along the path too.

What would make him happy? Who would make it your

Well, fact that we're having this conversation definitely would put a smile on his face. Seeing your progress would put a smile on his face. Yeah, you know, there's just there's so many voices in this world that are negative and that are destructive to bring about a positive voice that is trying to make the world better. I think that would make him grin from ear to ear.

That's awesome. So, I like to ask this question on several times, or not several times, but on different podcasts. And that's a question that you ask me in our extreme Pareto exercises is, what would be the one thing that you would tell a physician that would help them practice impossible and makes everything else easy or unnecessary? It's one thing.

Speaker 2 (21:14.466)
I should have prepared for this question. I think be curious. Open your mind to having a greater awareness about how you can impact people's lives around you.

It may have been two, I'll take curious. Curious awareness. Curious awareness is the one.